Mental rental

Who would have thought that it would be so difficult to hire a car from a company that specializes in hiring cars?

“I’d like to hire a car for our holiday, please. It’s for Brittany.”

“Absolutely sir, what type would you like?”

“Four wheels, engine, doors. Oh, and air-con.”

“What size?”

“Erm, I don’t know. I wasn’t aware there were different sizes of air-con. Medium to large?”

“What size of car, sir?”

“Oh sorry. Well, five adults and two kids… a people carrier should do.”

“And where would you like to collect the vehicle?”

“Worthing.”

“Sorry sir, we don’t have any in Worthing. Can you get to Brighton?”

“Yes, I don’t see why not. The wife can give me a lift.”

“We don’t have any in Brighton either.”

“Okay. So was your question about getting to Brighton just friendly banter?”

“We don’t do friendly banter, sir, just cars.”

“Well, that’s open to debate.”

“Can you get to Oxford?”

“Technically yes, but it’s not exactly convenient. Don’t you have any somewhere nearer?”

“We have a mini-bus in Sheffield.”

“I meant nearer to Worthing, not your call centre. Do you have any other large cars in Worthing?”

“We can do you a Ford Ka, if you would like that.”

“Well, I guess we could could get five adults and two children in one of those, if we don’t take any luggage. Or children. At least it would take up less room in the ferry.”

“Ferry? I’m sorry sir, we have a strict policy forbidding cross-border travel.”

“Did you not think to mention that when I asked for a car for our trip to  France?”

“You never said anything about France, sir.”

“I did – I said it was for Brittany”

“I thought that might be your wife.”

“Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!”